When I was younger, I distinctively recall the feeling of lying in the grass surrounded by clover and dandelions in the hot summer sun. A gentle breeze would blow above, bringing in earthy aromas from the nearby woods. I would close my eyes and the world would melt away.

It was an escape from the pressures I was experiencing, the quiet internal conflict that was slowly tearing me apart. In that moment, the sounds of the birds and the light hum from the tractors down the road began to disappear. My shoulders would soften and a deep exhale released the tension I was holding. For a few breaths, I was liberated and could let myself truly be me.

At the time, I did not realize this was yoga.

Today, as lay in the grass under trees in my backyard and a blue sky I reflect on those moments of my youth with a deeper understanding and connection to who I have become. On this semiquincentennial of the United States, I find it difficult to feel patriotic as a queer person. In a time when the nation’s citizens struggle to find a sense of pride due to deep political dysfunction and systemic inequalities, I turn to yoga as a liberatory practice.

My shoulders have grown tense over the past week, a feeling similar to that of younger me who was too afraid to accept his queerness. I take a breath. And with an exhale, the world melts away, just for a moment. The trickle of the water fountain fades into the background, the laughter of the kids playing outside next door soften, and a gentle breeze brings the sweet scent of the brasswood trees.

A calmness rushed over me instantly.

The practice of pratyahara is not about escaping the realities of the world, but it allows us to find an inner calm or mental clarity in how we witness ourselves as part of reality. When I lay in the grass, I began to withdraw my senses which allowed me to be present with myself. I paused and reflected on why I was feeling the way I did about the state of the world and what the day meant to me. In tuning into my body and through breath I could let go of the expectations I was holding. Every exhale allowed me to explore inner peace, returning me to the version of my younger self that found a moment of acceptance.

Too often we carry the burdens of society. Maybe part of this is because we are taught that our worth is measured by how much we can carry before we break. Maybe that is why laying in the grass feels so profound. For just a moment, I can stop trying to hold the world and allow the world to hold me instead.

-Jeff

A Grounding Meditation: Let the Earth Hold You

Close your eyes, or soften your gaze toward the sky.

Take a slow inhale through your nose. Exhale gently through your mouth.

Feel the earth beneath you. Notice how it asks nothing of you. It does not measure your productivity, your accomplishments, or the burdens you’ve been carrying. It simply holds you.

With each exhale, imagine releasing one thing you have been holding. Maybe a worry, an expectation, or a responsibility that can wait.

Silently repeat:

The Earth holds me.
I release what I no longer need to carry.
In this moment, I am enough.

Take three slow breaths, allowing your body to become a little more supported with each exhale.

When you’re ready, gently open your eyes. Carry with you the reminder that you do not always have to hold the weight of the world. Sometimes, it’s enough to let the world hold you.

As the needle pressed against my skin, writing a new paragraph of my story, I had a thought. If tattoos are the visible gateway to my life, then who am I when no one is looking?

Tattoos do not make my body more valuable and I wouldn’t be less complete with out them. They simply tell the story I have lived. However, I turn to yoga as a reminder that I am more than just my story. I am also a witness to this life and there is freedom in holding both truths.

Yoga does not ask us to erase our stories, but perhaps it does ask us to be more aware and compassionate. I go back to the teachings within the Bhagavad Gita on non-attachment. It is not about apathy or giving up, but to truly embrace life by controlling your actions and not be attached by the outcomes.

When I look at my tattoos I see decisions. Moments of growth in my life. Versions of myself where I have said "this is important.” They serve as an anchor that brings me back to my breath and to be present in the moment. Each tattoo represents a choice I made, who I was when I received them, and what I valued.

As I grow older, I know my tattoos will change. Some lines will soften, color might fade, and I know I will get more. Like my tattoos, I hope my yoga practice changes too. I hope to keep asking new questions with curiosity. I hope to continue to discover who I am beyond the visible tattoos when no one is looking.

Because perhaps the wisdom we are looking for is not found in knowing who we are, but in who we are becoming.

-Jeff

There is a moment of stillness when you take a breath in a yoga practice.

Life pauses. Something shifts within. We stop reaching for what is next and and allow ourselves to be present. A simple breath, the hum of the building, and a shift in energy that draws us in to search for something deeper.

I have been thinking about that moment lately.

My yoga practice has shifted over time from fast, flowing asana to something more rooted and intentional. An inhale that creates space to notice what has been hidden, a truth or meaning beyond the expectations of life. A curious air leaks calling our attention, exposing the cracks of our own very existence, asking for nothing except our attention. It is this moment that draws me in, the longing for a deeper connection to myself, to community, and to the ground beneath my feet.

The Ground Beneath Us is a collection of reflections on presence, belonging, yoga philosophy and practice, nature, and the ordinary moments that shape our lives. Each week, I’ll share stories, observations, practices, observations, and reflections to help us pause, just long enough to hear our inner wisdom.

This week, I taught my first Mantra & Meditation class starting with Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha. I was beginning a new journey into teaching Bhakti Yoga and chanting to Ganesha to invoke the journey allowed me to feel held and supported. I did not know at the time that this week, I would also be starting this collection. But, in some way, maybe deep down, I needed it to reflect and share as I explore this new path ahead of me.

This is an invitation to share those moments. To be curious and seek out your own truth. In stillness, we become the explorers of our own inner landscape, discovering places we may have overlooked and maybe ask the questions we have previously been too afraid to ask.

One breath, a moment of stillness.

-Jeff